For Zoo Bird Keepers, a typical day involves checking up and feeding our feathered residents found all around the Zoo. Soon Keepers will also be spending parts of their day relocating many of the bird species to their winter enclosures where they will stay during cooler weather to protect them from the elements. A few midget ago, when Hampton Roads was under imminent threat from Hurricane Florence, several of our birds were moved into safer indoor enclosures to ride out the storm. Luzon bleeding heart doves are a species of dove that, like most dove adorable chick jezebel, spend most of their time on the ground, only adorable chick jezebel to trees to roost, nest or sleep. They are light blue-grey in color with white chests and a patch of blood-red feathers centered on their chests, brown gives them their unique name.
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Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. These week the "writers" of these celebrity blogs call Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff 'fat', Tila Tequila a 'whore', and Camila Alves Matthew McConaughey's pregnant girlfriend is a "maid" getting "preferential treatment" because of her ethnicity.
After the jump, we punish the blogerati for their idiocy. Let the Jezebel justice system begin! The Accused: Perez Hilton The Crime: Denigrating a woman's looks for not being stereotypically "feminine" The Evidence: Seriously, isn't there surgery where you can shave down your jaw???
We're sure some trannys have gotten it done to make themselves look more "feminine. Rumer should look into it! And, while she's there, she might wanna get her nose done too! She is a constant target for him — he takes every possible opportunity to criticize her for no reason. His continued denigration of alternative sexuality last week: Apparently he only wants respect and rights for himself not for the actual community.
The Punishment: A kick in the nards from Rumer's dad, Bruce. He looks like he does not suffer fools gladly. Hollywood Tuna The Crime: The Evidence: Chow's restaurant. Now people are saying that Tila isn't bisexual and making a big deal about it. But let me tell you something, every girl I've ever met who was willing to take their clothes off for money was also willing to dyke out for money too.
So enough with this nonsense that she's a fake. Girl is open for business. Tequila's but the assumption that she is gay for pay is just tasteless. Having to watch 72 straight hours of Ms. What Would Tyler Durden Do?
The Crime: Felony body snarking The Evidence: As you can see here when she met her mom for breakfast at Papoos hot dog stand in Toluca Lake yesterday. This chick used to be so cute. Now she looks like she's halfway through a sex change.
Hilary Duff, like every other goddamn woman, has weight fluctuations. So effing what. She is still adorable and you can fuck off. Must live on hot dogs and hot dogs alone for 3 weeks. Yeeah The Crime: And - from the looks of Jessica Simpson here - also donuts and Hershey bars and double-potato fritattas.
Saddle on up, fatty! See what we said about Hilary Duff. Jessica Simpson's cowboy boot inserted directly in anus. Our old pal, Drunken Stepfather The Crime: Raging homophobia, sexism, racism, probably a bunch of -isms that haven't been invented yet. A reader recently reached out and told me that they wanted some Matthew McConaughey news, I didn't really know why but assumed it was because the reader was a poofter and into dudes and wanted some pics to get of to because he thought McConaughey had a rockin' bod or some shit, so I told the motherfucker that I don't want no faggots 'round here and tied him to the back of a pick-up truck like he was a black dude from the south and drove for 18 miles.
I am just kidding, I only went 10 miles, but dude won't be asking me for no faggot pictures anymore…[H]ere is Matthew McConaughey wasted and having an amazing time in Central America doing what I do best without the obesity, anger, puke covered shirt or fingers inside an unsuspecting passed out whore.
All while leaving his pregnant maid back at home because you can't give her preferential treatment just for letting you plant seed in her, the other maids will revolt and then no one would be there to cook dinner, clean the Air Stream or do the laundry…" Look, we understand that the Drunken Stepfather says outrageous things on purpose in order to rile people up.
But it's unfunny, it's tired, and it's mostly just sad. Putting on an over-the-top racist persona in order to get attention is actually fucking pathetic. Being miniaturized and having to hang out in Matthew's reportedly unwashed armpit for all eternity.
Want to report a Crime Against Womanity? Send the link to tips jezebel. The A. Jessica G. Filed to: Share This Story. Club News. Share Tweet. Kinja is in read-only mode. We are working to restore service.